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 Review #4647071 |
 |  | Shoes Are Fun  [E] How would a child describe shoes? I believe they'd remember the noise and the activity.  |
| (4.5)  Greetings, SandraLynn, I am reviewing this today as a judge for the "Writing 4 Kids" . Yours is one of fourteen entries from the January round. Thank you for participating! First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. Visually appealing Easy to understand Followed the prompt & rules First Impression: I absolutely loved the onomatopoeia in this piece! Great use of alliteration and assonance, too.  I could definitely visualize this! Great use, also, of the senses. Technicalities:  Italicizing your onomatopoeia might be something to think about. Example: Ga-lomp, ga-lomp. Since you covered almost all the senses, you might consider adding smell.  Just a suggestion. You also might consider enlarging the font a little. Again, this is only a suggestion.  Favorites:Brother's sneakers thud, thunk, thump, thump. I fumble. I tumble. Bump, bump.  Great visual of a child wearing her brother's big shoes! Loved this!  Final thoughts: Kudos to you for all your onomatopoeia! It's quite impressive.Best of luck in the contest! Have a great day and...  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 02/11/2022 @ 10:36am EST