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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4643045
Review #4643045
Viewing a review of:
 The Christmas snow globe  [E]
What happens when you get to go on a journey of a lifetime without planning it.
by Happy to write
Review by Cubboo! (22!)
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Greetings, Happy to write, I am reviewing this today as a judge for the "Writing 4 Kids Contest .


*Pencil* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Boxcheckb* Easy to understand
*Boxcheckb* Followed the prompt & rules

*Crayons4* Conflict: The main character finds herself inside a snow globe with a hungry witch!

*Crayons7* Characters: The narrator tells the story. Also includes a witch and the narrator's mother.

*Crayons* Dialogue: Yes, though the dialogue should be broken up into their own paragraphs per character, not all in one big paragraph.

*Crayons3* Setting: Mostly inside the snow globe.

*Crayons5* Technicalities: You might want to consider breaking this story up into several paragraphs vs two. *Smile* Whoever is speaking, too, should have their own paragraph. *Smile* You've also got a few run-on sentences that you might want to shorten or break into more than one sentence. With just a little editing (along with a few punctuation issues,) this could be a very cute, well-polished children's story! *Smile*

*Crayons2* Favorites: I think the last line is my favorite because it leaves the reader hanging! *Wink* Whatever happened to the witch I wonder from time to time I think I hear her laughter in the middle of the night sometimes hopefully it is just my overactive imagination .

*Crayons8* Final thoughts: I really do like this story! How scary for a child to find herself inside a snow globe with a hungry witch! Her mom came in just in time! It was clever that she accidently broke the globe, releasing her daughter from being trapped inside. Good job! *Smile* And I absolutely loved how you ended the story!


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 01/24/2022 @ 11:16am EST
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