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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4625111
Review #4625111
Viewing a review of:
 The Hot Tub Open in new Window. [18+]
This is an event in the story of two lovers.
by storyreader Author Icon
Review of The Hot Tub  Open in new Window.
Review by Schnujo's N... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Witch's House  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Wow! You've gotten 50 reviews! I've been told that erotic stuff is the most read, but least reviewed stuff on WdC. *Laugh* Though your item is shorter, so that might have helped as well. *Wink*

That first paragraph is a nice setup. *Smile*

Correction: Commas go on the inside of quotation marks. You placed them incorrectly a few times such as...
"My imagination is playing with me", he thought.
"Oh! It's hot!", said the same voice.

I love this part--Somehow, he knew that this would all go away if he opened his eyes.

It's great that we are left wondering if she was real or not. I prefer to think not because I don't want him cheating on his wife, but others might hope she was. Great ending to this piece! Very well done!

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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