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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4618177
Review #4618177
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of April Fool's Jill  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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by iKïyå§ama Author Icon


Hallo!
The title and brief description led me to click.
About the genres - 'Children's' and 'Comedy' work, but I guess the third one needs to be 'Contest Entry'.

Two limericks about how a girl who played jokes on others learnt her lesson at the end. The story is well told in 10 lines.

About the individual limericks: The first one works well and flows smoothly. In the second one, I thought the fourth and fifth line were a bit forced. Maybe you could tweak those to make it crisper and meet the full potential of the story you're telling.

Also, maybe change the font to 'comic' and give the text a bit of color?

Thanks for sharing this one!

Write On!
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4618177