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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4616571
Review #4616571
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Lost in Time  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Greetings from
"The WDC Angel Army


Hallo!
I came to your portfolio because you have a WDC Anniversary this month. The title intrigued me and I clicked on the item.

The piece captures a lot of feelings -- the tumult one goes through in a situation like this. You've written them directly, in a very relatable way. The ability to grasp and express the feelings that churn is very important for a writer, kudos to you for doing that. There is anger, helplessness, frustration, betrayal, guilt, fear -- you've 'shown' them all without mentioning them by name.

My suggestion would be for the formatting of this monologue. Please use line-spacing and font size. I wonder if it was intended for it to be one paragraph. If it isn't deliberate, I'd suggest dividing it into paragraphs for easier flow.

I didn't quite understand this sentence: I hear back.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm sure it'll help those who are going through something similar, to know that they are not alone.

Write On!


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