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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4616507
Review #4616507
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Betrayal  [ASR]
An experiment in metaphor and concrete image.
by Tinker
Review of Betrayal  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Reviewed by a member of "The WDC Angel Army

Wow.
When I read the title and brief description and saw the cover photo, I expected something quite different! I thought it would be a poem full of emotions and imagery, about the theme - betrayal.

Instead, there was a word picture of a horrifying scene, painted in a few, well-chosen words. I did a double take and had to read it again before I could review it.

Well, you've actually captured what betrayal feels like. In the brief description you say this is an experiment at a metaphor. It works. The poem itself comes as a shock, the way betrayal does, and the feeling evoked is that of the awfulness and hopelessness of it all. Nine lines which pack a real punch.

You might want to pick a couple more 'genres', and the link you've given in the notes has gone invalid. (Aside from this, there are no other suggestions from me. The poem works as it is.)

Write On!

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