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Review #4614655
Viewing a review of:
 
Beautiful girl  [E]
Wrote it one night pretending I had the courage. Jan. 27,2013
by Blue Moon
Review of Beautiful girl  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings from "The WDC Angel Army" 

Hallo!
This one showed up on Random Reads.

It's a lovely poem with some relatable emotions. Readers who have gone through missing someone to love will find echoes of their thoughts in your verse.

The question I have is about the transition between the emotion in the first verse, to the second. If you meant it to be sudden, that's fine. But as a reader, I found the change of thought abrupt. Maybe a couple of lines as to why, after you've found it to be a lie, you want to go back to that feeling ... ?

Some points:
I love the cover illustration!

Maybe you could use WritingML like font, size, center and colour.

You could pick 'Lyrics' or 'Poetry' as your item type. Also, you've left the genre at 'other' - would you like to pick up to three genres, to give the poem more exposure on site?

Thanks for sharing this!
Sig gifted to me by Secret Squirrel, created by Kiya. Thanks!

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/14/2021 @ 9:58pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4614655