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 Review #4614566 |
 | Dancing Fool (1st Place/ 2 Editor Pick)  [E] Paul wandered to the living room where his daughter's dance costume lay...  |
| (3.5)| Hallo! This one showed up on 'random review'. I enjoyed the story, you did a good job with the prompt words given. That being said, the brief description rather gave away what was going to happen. I anticipated that he would dance and get caught red-handed (red-footed?  ) at it by his wife and kid. The story does work well as is, but you could also look at giving it some sort of twist so that there is a surprise element for the reader. I think a combination of anticipation-and-surprise would make it funnier. Some tiny typos: laid there -- do you mean 'lay there'? slippers laying -- do you mean 'lying'? feet. he -- capital 'H'. Also - when you say 'back burner', doesn't it imply the stove? And I am partial to a bigger font size and more line-spacing for smoother readibility, so I'll suggest that, too! Thank you for the chuckle! Write On!  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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