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Review #4612361
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Review of The Machine  Open in new Window.
Review by Starling Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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Title: Review: The Machine by Shaye - Sci-fi


The opinions contained in this review are subjective, with the intent to be honest and helpful.
Please take that which you find useful, and toss the rest with good cheer. {/center}


Title and Author: The Machine by Shaye

In the interest of clarity, I will be using the following conventions in my review:
c:black}Your Words:
Review comments
My Impressions as I read:
Editing Suggestions:

Plot::
Two scientists decide to start a strange machine without the permission of the head scientist. They figure they won’t have a problem because they’ve seen it done before. They start flicking switches. At first, there is no problem. After a while, the machine starts saying there are errors occurring so it tries to shut down. That doesn’t work. The scientists try and shut it down but they can’t either.

After a flash of electricity, they find themselves on another planet. A planet where, to the inhabitants, it is not strange to have them visit.

Hook:
One scientist asks the other scientist about the trouble they could get into. The reader is now pulled into the story to find out about the “trouble”. Nice hook.

Opening Sentence and Paragraph:
The reader is immediately drawn into the story by the bumbling attempts of two scientists. It is known right off the bat there is going to be a problem and it doesn’t take the author long to prove that hypothesis.

Characters Development:
I love the two characters. Right off the bat we want to yell at them, “Don’t do it… just don’t do it” but we know they will. The story is short. There is not a lot of room for character growth, all though in the end, we realize they have grown enough to question the other scientist instead of just blindly following along.

Dialogue:
The dialogue is believable. It is not “over the top” like it could have been.

Punctuation and Structure:
I found a couple of errors. Most of the ones I found I did not point out because I know there is a difference in spelling patterns in different countries. The sentence structure was good. There were no run-on sentences.

Closing Statement
I liked the story. I do think the two scientists are a little more accepting of what just happened than they should be. That can be explained though through the fact they are lab scientists used to machinery, and just accept the results of an experiment as being true. You accept the answer, figure out what it means or create a new hypothesis from the results.

Thank you for posting.

Starling
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,,, unauthorised trigger of this?” Jake said asked in my ear through gritted teeth.
...“That is the definition of a trigger, Kaden,
...“Why did I agree to this?” Jake said asked .
...I opened my eyes to the familiar site sight of the lab. The console sat in the centre center of the opposite wall.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/31/2021 @ 11:02am EDT
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