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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4605859
Review #4605859
Viewing a review of:
 EATING FLIES IS FUN  [E]
written for: A Children's Genre Writing Contest
by dogpack howling & prowling
Review by Cubboo! (22!)
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Greetings, dogpack howling & prowling!I am reviewing this today as a judge for the "Writing 4 Kids Contest .


*Pencil* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Boxcheckb* Visually appealing Looks nice and neat with short paragraphs. *Smile*
*Boxcheckb* Easy to understand Yes, simple and informative.
*Boxcheckb* Followed the prompt & rules Yes

*Crayons4* Summary: Kermit shares a few facts about frogs eating flies.

*Crayons7* Characters: Kermit

*Crayons* Dialogue: No dialogue. This piece is narrated by the frog speaking to the reader/audience so no dialogue is needed.

*Crayons5* Technicalities: There are a few...

I hope high and far. Hoping like this helps --> I hop high and far. Hopping like this helps

The word a lot is repetitive in the last part of Paragraph One and the second sentence in Paragraph Two. You might want to consider replacing the second a lot with many --> I can catch many flies [actually, you could also change this to many insects, but that's up to you. *Wink*]

There were also a few places you could've used a comma. One example: Before it gets dark[,] I’ll hunt for more flies

*Crayons2* Favorites: Some people say yuck to flies, but I love eating them. They give me energy. Flies keep me healthy.

*Crayons8* Final thoughts: You included some good facts. I thought your flow was smooth, too. You added in your note information that the Readability level was 7th-8th grade, but in my opinion, it seems lower than that. A newspaper is normally 4th grade level. I am no expert on grade level vocabulary, so I looked up some links. Check out https://readabilityformulas.com/freetests/six-readability-formulas.php
You may have meant 7-8 year-olds instead of 7-8th grades. *Smile*


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/25/2021 @ 6:42pm EDT
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