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 Review #4605859 |
 | EATING FLIES IS FUN  [E] written for: A Children's Genre Writing Contest  |
| (4.0)   Greetings, dogpack howling & prowling!I am reviewing this today as a judge for the "Writing 4 Kids Contest " . First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. Visually appealing Looks nice and neat with short paragraphs.  Easy to understand Yes, simple and informative. Followed the prompt & rules Yes Summary: Kermit shares a few facts about frogs eating flies. Characters: Kermit Dialogue: No dialogue. This piece is narrated by the frog speaking to the reader/audience so no dialogue is needed. Technicalities: There are a few...I hope high and far. Hoping like this helps --> I hop high and far. Hopping like this helps The word a lot is repetitive in the last part of Paragraph One and the second sentence in Paragraph Two. You might want to consider replacing the second a lot with many --> I can catch many flies [actually, you could also change this to many insects, but that's up to you.  ]There were also a few places you could've used a comma. One example: Before it gets dark[,] I’ll hunt for more flies  Favorites: Some people say yuck to flies, but I love eating them. They give me energy. Flies keep me healthy. Final thoughts: You included some good facts. I thought your flow was smooth, too. You added in your note information that the Readability level was 7th-8th grade, but in my opinion, it seems lower than that. A newspaper is normally 4th grade level. I am no expert on grade level vocabulary, so I looked up some links. Check out https://readabilityformulas.com/freetests/six-readability-formulas.phpYou may have meant 7-8 year-olds instead of 7-8th grades. Have a great day and...  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 04/25/2021 @ 6:42pm EDT