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 Review #4546174 |
| Introduction~  Cadie here reviewing for Building Emotion and Sensuality Lesson 3. NOTE: This review is only the opinion of one author, I'm not a professional editor. This review is meant to help and NOT hurt.Personal Impressions~ Your characters are moving along in their relationship. You showed me the fear that Elize has when it comes to her past. I like that Mac is ready to accept her despite her past.Characterization and Dialogue~ You've shown the feelings of the characters within the story. You staying within one point of view as the story progressed.Showing vs. Telling~ You showed the reader in a mild way the fear that Elize has. I think there could have been more description of the emotion (fear and doubt and unworthiness) she feels. Technical Aspects~ This sentence doesn't quite make sense.That she was scared. That she didn't know how to be and how not to fuck things up. Conclusions~ You did well with this assignment and stayed within the word count. Good job, I can't wait to see what happens in the next piece. This was well written. Thank you for sharing and Keep Writing! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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