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Review #4543535
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by A Guest Visitor
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Cadie here reviewing for House of Sensual Prose Erotic Language.

You completed your assignment well. You've got a good beginning scene. If you edit you might look at changing the third paragraph from what he focuses on to him dreaming about what he wants to do and what her reaction could be.
"My mind wanders visualizing the taste of her slick juicy lips and placing light feathery kisses down her smooth throat. Listening to her moans as the heat of the moment rises. Her shirt is suddenly off her body as I nibble kisses on her breast in hot pursuit, losing myself in her body and my mind." Something like that.

Good Job. Thank you for sharing, Keep Writing.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/14/2020 @ 8:15pm EDT
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