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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4531480
Review #4531480
Viewing a review of:
 The Child Open in new Window. [E]
A child awaits the woman.
by Miss V Author Icon
Review of The Child  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
THIS IS A WdC SUPER POWER REVIEWERS RAID REVIEW!!!

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Miss V!
This is really good for one of your 1st pieces on here, and I love the way you wrote it by bringing it full circle with the woman finding herself inside of that child and the childhood she never had.
And using that virtual window to find her was an excellent choice to use for it!
There's a lot emotion in this piece, so I think it might be based on a real experience or yours (as far as your childhood is concerned, anyway).
Normally I'd comment about using 'She' to start so many of those sentences, but it worked quite well for this!
Comments and suggestions:
'As woman and child embrace (and) tears fall...'
'She is no longer cold(,) the chill is gone.'
Otherwise, BRAVO!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Miss V! It was a pleasure to read, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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