Hope, where did it go. [E] i just need to let you know |
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Hi Trishele, This is a wonderful piece. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. It tells the reader very little about what the piece is actually about. They are intrigued and will begin to read to find out more. You launch into the piece without introduction or preamble. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the topic and the piece. They will read to the last word. You have written about a time in your life when someone else's abuse left you unsure of yourself and everyone else in your life. The reader is delighted with the look they get at you as a person as well as a writer. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the piece tedious. I did come across a few structural issues that need your attention: 1) cold, afraid it-Should read "cold, afraid. It" 2) i cant trust them it's not my fault,-Should read "I can't trust them. It's not my fault." 3) my sanity my happiness.-Should read "my sanity and my happiness." You use an emotional style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.
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