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 Review #4477428 |
 | Baby's First Bewitching  [13+] SCREAMS!! Entry. Both Prompts. 30/03/2019. ~500 Words  |
| (5.0)| It is my pleasure to read your story and give you a review. Please remember, I'm a writer just like you and these are only my impressions. My ultimate goal is to be helpful and supportive. Thanks for sharing your work.  Reader's Reaction: Another great story written for 'Screams'. I guess Baby should have brought all white candles, black is not a good choice if you're looking for purity. Also, never play around with something such as witchcraft when you're just amateurs. You never know what you are dealing with. Characters/Dialog: The character are well defined, both Karen and Baby are trying to be what they are not. I love it, a cheese knife for a athame! Both so innocent, but want to be so with all this magic stuff. Don't play with something you know nothing about, that's my motto. But this makes a great story.The dialog is well done, and it moves the story along towards the conclusion.  Emotion/Mood/Atmosphere: The emotion is excitement, deeply earnest, and reflective.The mood is caustic, fanciful, and optimistic, hoping all will work out. The atmosphere is showing the setting, introducing the characters, and the event that is about to take place in the old boiler room  Plot & Pace: The plot is showing what can happen when playing with witchcraft. Missy thinks she knows what's best, but does she? At least she knew enough not to want to light the black candle.The pace moves at the right speed, building up the scene on what is about to happen.  Structure/plot/setting & Imagery: The structure is well thought out, the plot is followed to the end, the setting is a strange place to be, and the imagery of these three innocent girls who know not what they are playing with. Favorite Lines:"Hello ladies. I've just finished the preparations. Did you both bring what I asked you to?""We sure did Missy. Except I couldn't get three white candles, I got two whites and a black. That's okay though, right?" "White means white Baby. White symbolizes purity, and good intentions, whereas black symbolizes darkness, and malicious intent. Are you really that stupid?"  Overall Impression/Conclusion: This is quite a well written story showing not to play with fire, you may get burnt. Baby seems the innocent in this tale, and does the unthinkable. Was she brainwashed?The conclusion is sad. I was expecting something to happen, but never that that would occur.  WriteOn!  Thank you for sharing your work with us! Jeannie's Jingle Bells☃️   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/02/2019 @ 6:55pm EDT