%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4477370 |
   |  | ruwth is writing...  [18+] I will be adding stories & reflections as time marches on. Take a gander today!  |
| (4.0)| Hi ruwth ,I'm glad I read this work of yours. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "~ This Time It Was Not Her Fault ~" on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" . This story was chosen for review because it was the one posted before mine for Rising Stars' "I Write in 2019" .These are just one person's opinions; always remember only you know what is best for your story. I've read and commented on your work as I would try to read my own. If I didn't respond to it quite the way you hope, perhaps you will find something useful in the feedback or forget about it - it's all up to you. It's your story. Here's what I  best about {item: - Stories about abuse always have a special resonance with me, since I grew up with domestic violence. I'm impressed you managed to capture the essence of anger without using any of the words on the taboo list!  1) Plot:The unnamed main character is abused by her husband until she finally has him arrested and leaves him. Even though she has always been blamed for his violent behaviour, he inexplicably continues behaving with explosiveness in her absence.  )2) Characterization: The unnamed main character exhibits some backbone most victims of of domestic violence never do by finally standing up for herself and leaving behind a bad situation. She suffers from self-esteem issues, as most such victims do.  3) Voice/Style:Told from the third-person perspective, this creates some distance between the reader and the main character. I am undecided on whether this works better for this type of story, but there is still a power behind this narrative. 4) Setting:The Nascar reference appears to place this in the United States? I'm not really familiar with Nascar. 5) Grammar & Diction:These are just some observations and suggestions. Please feel free to use them or ignore them as you wish. Your words are in pink, my suggestions and impressions are in blue. She had done things at times Did she really deserved being beaten in response? However did she really deserve being beaten in response? He justified hurting her time and again. That was how he justified hurting her time and again. He threaten to kill her and hide her body where no one would find it. He even threatened to kill her and hide her body where no one would find it. he did not like it when Jeff through a tantrum threw FINAL THOUGHTS A moving and emotionally-charged story about domestic violence always gets a thumbs-up from me! Thanks for a great read! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You have not yet responded to this review.