Hi Warped Sanity ! In celebration of your account anniversary month and the approaching holiday, I wanted to read a darker piece of yours! Congratulations on five years!

The brief description of this piece really intrigued me! And after reading the piece, I really liked that the brief description is only half of the story. You are able to tell a complete story without it sounding rushed. You give enough time for the mystery to develop, and I enjoyed discovering the multiple horrors throughout! Awesome!

I did notice a few typos you might consider editing. I've pasted your words below in red and my suggestions follow after.

struggling to breath. struggling to breathe

her quivering lips braised his I've never heard "braised" used this way. Maybe it is a phrase I am unfamiliar with, but the word that came to my mind that would fit there is "grazed."

In the beginning of the story, I was going to point out that the bit about the doctor hiding his arousal was a bit out of place, because it felt that way when I first read it, but after finishing the story, it made complete sense. I even think it is good that it stands out a bit at the beginning so the reader gets more of a clue about what might happen over the course of the story. That said, I do like that you don't reveal what the doctor's plans are through his thoughts or his actions, but rather through Sherry and through the demon. That was subtle and nicely done.

You did a fantastic job revealing slowly the nature of the demon (especially through lines like this: “I need to give it away.”), but I did wonder how Sherry got the demon in the first place? By the nature of the demon, it seems like she would have had to do something bad first before it was transferred to her, but I suppose this is up to the reader to decide.

Thank you for sharing your writing and happy anniversary month!
Take care,
Emily

You responded to this review 10/16/2018 @ 2:18pm EDT

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