Hi Gaea - I've just read chapter 6, and dang! It got steamy! This chapter flipped the story on its head, though I don't know if I believe Carol. She is making me suspicious of J.J. though... And also, Carol IS still cheating on her husband ... just not with a man.

When Carol surprised Lisa in her car, I thought Lisa was going to lie and say she fancied Carol, and that's why she's been following her, but it was believable that she told the truth - she is a honest professional. And when Carol was trying to convince Lisa to give her time, I'm glad Lisa didn't trust Carol right away, but it was a little weird she didn't react to the 100 thousand as soon as Carol brought it up.

Just a few typos for you to look at:

Lisa shook her head, tying to clear it and make sense of everything trying

but I’ swear I’m not stealing anything, accidental apostrophe after I

Lisa’s --s were smaller than her own, but I think you switched perspectives here into Carol's thoughts instead of Lisa's.

I loved the bit when Jeremy called Lisa! Oh man, perfect yet not so perfect timing! I bet he would be jealous of the fun Lisa was having as well I do think their two cases are connected as well, but I'm not sure how yet. I am getting more and more suspicious of everyone. JJ, Jeremy, Rich, Carol, Adam, the mystery man, and now Melinda Harris AKA Star...

I thought of another way to add to Lisa's character that you might consider including. Giving Lisa some internal dialog to voice her concerns/fears/emotions to the reader would be a powerful way to make her more real. Something to think about

Take care,
Emily

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