Hi again Gaea ! Chapter two, here I come!

Hmm! Fishy fishy! I feel like a detective - like you're leaving me more clues to find. I'm keeping my eyes, peeled, you know! I'm excited to see what you're able to surprise me with! A few things in this chapter stood out. First, this sentence: "parents died in a house fire when she was fifteen, an older brother in the army listed as M.I.A., presumed dead" about Mrs Jacobson's family followed immediately after by the information that she inherited a lot of money. I've definitely heard that story before... And then, at the end, the missing letters were I, C, and U. Obviously filling in the missing swear on the note, but also spelling out "I see you." I wonder who's watching her? By the way ... she would have never put down her gun until she was sure the coast was clear. I would ramp up her fear a little bit in that scene. As a reader, I wasn't really feeling that she was scared that someone had thrown a brick in her window. Was she scared?

Your grammar and punctuation are mostly very good, but I did notice a few places were you might think about editing. First, do a Control Find for all the words "toward" and "towards" in all your chapters. I am partial to toward, but I know people use towards as well. In this chapter you use both, so I'd recommend picking one I also noticed just a few other minor edits throughout. Your words are in red and my edits follow:

private dining area where Mr. Jacobson awaited. waited

She Judged his height judged with lowercase j

Pleased to meet you Mr. Jacobson comma after you

personal information such birth dates, such as birth dates

Just after seven a.m. two females jogged comma after seven a.m.

Shadow Investigations, Lisa Speaking. speaking with lower case s

it’s probably someone pissed off cheating husband someone's

My comments about the line spacing between paragraphs and font size from the previous review carry over to this chapter as well, so I won't repeat those for you

You have me hooked! This line made me keep reading: "For the last two years, I believe she stopped and had been acting normal...until last week." You sunk your hook! Good job!

Thank you for sharing your writing! Take care,
Emily

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