Hi Dragon is hiding ! You took the time to review a few of my items today, so I'm here to return the favor! I found your piece, "Essays and lack of sleep" in your poems folder, and it immediately called out to me! I remember those essay writing days ... oh gosh ... But let me tell you (I'm sure you already know), it doesn't stop when you're out of school. You'll just be writing different things At least we like to write, though, huh? Or else it would be a nightmare!

I liked your rhyming in this poem. I really admire people who write poems that rhyme, since I can't ever seem to do it right So, good job there. I thought the length was just right as well. I also love that I read the poem and could feel your pain in writing that essay! That emotion came across very well.

I just have a few recommendations. Meter in poems like this is really not my strong suit, but I would recommend having someone else read this poem out loud to you so you can hear which lines feel short and which seem too long. The two lines that really stood out to me for being odd syllable counts were: "Why didn't I major in Biology?" and "Oh that's right." The first is eleven syllables (the longest in the poem), and the second is only three (the shortest in the poem). Perhaps finding a way to reword those lines would help the last stanza have more "kick."

My favorite lines are: "7 pages is too long. / What did I ever do wrong" and "This is taking forever / Sleep would be so much better." Both are great rhymes and feel good to read aloud, probably due to the syllable count

Last - Oh no! Science gives you a fright? It's not that bad, I promise! Hehe! But don't worry, I'll take care of it

Thank you for sharing your writing! Take care,
Emily

You responded to this review 09/02/2018 @ 5:58pm EDT

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