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Review #4399557
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A Horde of Friends Open in new Window. [ASR]
Prompt 3: Why is friendship so important? Show us in a poem. ~ Poetry
by Joey' Falling for the Season Author Icon
Review by Sally Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Joey,

My name is Sally.

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*Swordr* This is a review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.
Spring Into Fantasy Raid*Swordl*



First Impressions:
A very clever, entertaining narrative poem! It was very helpful giving the reader the prompt you followed.

Technique:
This poem tells an entertaining, fantastical tale of a young lass, 'the fairest of maidens', being chased by a marauding horde. You tell a wonderful tale of how she visits numerous friends asking for help and they all think of themselves and deny her the help.

This was a believable story which really held my attention. I love the 'crone' helping the young lady in the end by hiding her under her skirts. Your 'moral' at the end of the poem,
'Best one ugly true friend than a dozen who aren't’ fully vested' really made me chuckle. Well done!

Suggestions:
I couldn't really determine a rhyme scheme or a rhythm. The rhyming seemed to change with, aaab cddd eefg eehj and on... Without this rhyme pattern, it is quite difficult to read aloud as the metre changes with each line and stanza which affects the rhythm.

If you had a more regular syllabic count in each line, or a fixed rhyme scheme, this would create a technically more balanced poem that would have a natural rhythm when read.
A syllabic count could read 10,8,10,8 or 12,10,12,10 - something like that.

And finally:
A very amusing poem that I really enjoyed. You obviously have a great sense of humour which is great to see in poetry!

Thank you for allowing me this dabble into fantasy poetry, I am so glad I found it!




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