Great flash fiction story! I enjoyed it the whole way through and was surprised at the end.

Just a few suggestions/comments to add beyond my overall impression:

In line two, I'd recommend identifying Jeb, because otherwise readers have no idea who the other speaker is at that time.

I wondered why, in line 6, Jeb didn't mention the colorful, moving spots to Rita? It seems like if he'd never seen it before, it would be worth mentioning.

I wondered how old Jeb and Rita were.

I thought that since Jeb didn't say anything in line 6, it was odd that he mentioned that "the flashes seem to be gone now" when he didn't say anything about them earlier? Was that meant to be a thought and not a statement?

Again, really enjoyed the story. And I've been lurking in the daily flash fiction thread and have enjoyed many of your stories. You are talented! Thank you for the opportunity to review.




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .