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Review #4375919
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.0)
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Aloha, Sophie!
It's always a pleasure to read one of your pieces, and this is no different. I'm still in awe that you can write so well for being as young as you are!
This is pretty good. I like the idea of the 'mob mentality' taking over having the other kids follow Ash to wherever they were headed, but I don't really know where they were headed. Or what it was that they were going to torch. It's almost like this is a chapter out of the middle of some book since there isn't really any back story and it doesn't really end.
I'm guessing it has something to do with this 'Debate Club', right? I found it on the NewsFeed where you claimed you were happy to get this done...
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot one tiny niggle (which I very rarely find in your pieces!):
“I cannot believe this,” she said. As she reluctantly raised her hand. ('...said, as she...')
The only reason I'm giving this 4 stars is because of the ambiguity of it and not knowing what it was about.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Sophie! Thanks for sharing this, and...

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