House Florent "Game of Thrones" 

A review for "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Hi, Anthony.

My name is Prosperous Snow celebrating , I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Ghost of Time - Chapter 1

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the speaker loving someone more then life.

What needs your attention: In this phrase, knew they will get, I suggest changing will to would because that tense of will goes better in this sentence.

In this phrase, except from the enemy, I suggest changing from to for because it is a better fit in the meaning of the sentence.

In this phrase, return of my, I suggest changing of to for because it is a better fit in the meaning of the sentence.

What part I liked best: I like the description of the battle to rescue Sylvana from the enemy. I also like Agent K.I.A. because he is persistent in his quest to save Sylvana.

Overall impression: The main character travels through time to save the woman he loves and to fight an enemy of Earth. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The interaction among the characters builds the suspense. I enjoyed reading this exciting story because the author showed the action rather then telling it. Write on.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .