House Florent "Game of Thrones" 

A review for "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Hi

My name is Prosperous Snow celebrating , I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: All Aboard for Detention

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Sean's feelings about community service as detention. Sean is a typical curious young boy without fear of the unknown or the unusual. His curiosity is aroused by a train, so he does what comes natural for a young man of his age.

What needs your attention: In this phrase, What happened, I suggest placing an opening quotation mark before What because is part of a spoken sentence. I suggest identifying one of the genres as Children because this would make a good children's story.

What part I liked best: I like the description of the plate because it is visual. I can see the plate in my minds eye, along with what happens when Sean touches the plot. I also like the title of this story because it suggests a theme without giving the plot away.

Overall impression: The plot flows smoothly from the beginning to the climax with the actions of the main character building the suspense. I enjoyed reading this action/adventure story. I think this story would be something a parent could read to a child as a bedtime story. Write on.,

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .