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Review #4237752
Viewing a review of:
 Eye Contact Open in new Window. [E]
A poem about the first meeting of two lovers who have fallen in love from afar.
by The Northern Optimist Author Icon
Review of Eye Contact  Open in new Window.
Review by NaNoKit Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi The Northern Optimist Author Icon,

This review is a part of "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window. [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a sweet, romantic poem, dear author. I enjoyed it a lot!

It invites the reader to imagine a meeting between two people who are in love, but meeting in person for the very first time. Perhaps they met online - that is quite common after all. You can sense the anticipation, the delight, the moment when they can finally look the other in the eyes, touch, kiss. A momentous occasion for the both of them.

On the technical side of things, this poem has lovely imagery. It has a pleasant rhythm and flow, and is well-presented. You did a good job with it.

Suggestions:

The only thing I can suggest is to perfect the punctuation. You use some of it, which is helpful to the reader, but in other places it's left out. It might be worth it to add it in those places, for greater consistency.

I would then permit the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend on the individual sentences within the piece. This would perfect the overall clarity and reading experience.

My Rating:

This is a lovely, touching poem. I was very happy to read it!

I did have a couple of suggestions, but those are more of a personal preference, and not about the actual content of the item. Therefore, I will give it a rating of 5 out of 5 still.

Thank you for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.


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