Plot/story elements:

Did I feel attached to the story or poem?

I know this was a contest entry so I'm going to review accordingly. I'm going to give you some questions to flesh out in case you ever want to expand this idea into a more substantial piece of work.

I felt attached to the idea which is why I chose this piece in your portfolio to review. For me to feel attached, I need to know more about Hannah. What was her profession? Why does the time accelerate? Why is she the last? Why was her old life gone? What happened? How do warpgates work?


Would I recommend this piece of writing to someone else?

I think some really good ideas need to be worked out here. It has the makings of a great story and science fiction writing, if done well is an up an coming genre with so much focus on technology and STEAM programs right now in school. Like it or not, we're breeding scientists in schools at a faster pace than ever.


Was there a clear purpose to it?

I didn't see the overall layout. I bet I will if you continue the work and lay out this universe more.


Glows:

The idea of time travel is very compelling and engaging. You use dialog well to develop the story line. I like the idea of jumping milleniums but if you do that then be prepared to set the scene for the reader so we can vivid descriptions of the contrasts between the time jumps.



Grows:

I have a lot of questions about the story so I didn't really see the plot develop. But, I sure want to because it's a really cool concept.



Miscellaneous Comments:

Keep going! It's going to be good! I'll definitely adjust my rating as you add your ideas!


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~Tsa~ House of Greyjoy







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .