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Review #4223809
Viewing a review of:
 Around The World Open in new Window. [18+]
A yo-yo is just a yo-yo - or is it. You have to read it to find out for sure.
by PureSciFiPlus Author Icon
Review of Around The World  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Photo Taken By My Human June 2009

Hi PureSciFiPlus Author Icon!



What brought Hoovsie meandering in a space time continuum over to your port?

*Cow* I am the judge for today in "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

What does hoovsie think about while perusing your item?

*Cool**Idea* I like your title, first of all, and the introduction which is a teaser that makes me want to read on. That is what a title and an introduction should do.

This story is from the yo-yo point of view and this is one smart yo-yo who hides when its human, Kimberly, is tossing things about. The fact that you describe Kimberly as throwing her teddy bear against a wall tells me a lot about this human. Keeping one's distance sounds like a good idea.

This sounds like a very volatile household, with loud arguments between mother and daughter and Kimberly getting slapped in the process.

I noticed one typo:

In the third paragraph from the top, third line down, you have the word "dumb" when it should be trash "dump", I believe.

There is a lot of instability in the house and it is no wonder that things are confusing to the yo-yo.

Then Kimberly has those conversations where she lies and the yo-yo knows the truth. That would be sort of an alarming thing to witness while being thrown around. There is a lot of anxious waiting and hoping portrayed in your story, shown by witnessing events that are strange and volatile.

What does hooves moo and applaud about while reading your item?

*Thumbsup* At the end, I read it as yo-yo is glad to be away from home and with new owner Brandon. I think you did a good job of showing the anxiety of a yo-yo in a troubled environment. What a ten and thirteen year old were doing unsupervised is sort of an alarming undercurrent. Nothing good usually comes from that sort of scenario.

Nice work with the prompt - you did fine work!

HOOVES, a.k.a. COWser Soze, a.k.a. tHiNG a.k.a. 4ps

*Thumbsupr*PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT*Thumbsupl*

I am not an expert on poetry or prose or much else. I am merely a reader who loves to read. If I send a review, it means I enjoyed my reading experience enough to let you know it. I travel to many galaxies and pick my reading carefully, just as I pick my hay carefully.

*Sun*END OF PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT*Tulipp*


Ta Ta until we meet again in another place and time....

"Avoiding Toothless Rabid Bullies & Such" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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