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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4195065
Review #4195065
Viewing a review of:
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Musings... Open in new Window. [18+]
Writing, scribbling, etc.
by Gaby Author Icon
         Review for entry/chapter: "Destiny Entwined" Open in new Window.
Review of Musings...  Open in new Window.
Review by Shaye Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Gaby Author Icon,

I am Lorraine and I am reviewing your piece Destiny Entwined from Musings... Open in new Window. today in affiliation with "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window..

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts" Open in new Window. *Flowerw*


Title: A book that shows the destiny of a character in the story, Destiny Entwined seems like a perfectly suitable title. Does that mean when they do go off on their mission, it turns out the boy does live where the book said it does?

First Impression: An enjoyable story, with two parents proud of their daughters and two very contrasting characters in the form of the daughters.

Plot: You introduce the story with the Father coming home, with gifts for the daughters. The bookish daughter receives books, and finds a book her sister may be interested in. This is a good introduction to the characters and then a good build-up to the ending, where the sisters find something they could do together. This one works well enough as a story by itself, but like many of the stories I've read in this book, they could use more time to be expanded. I know the lack of time was my fault in the first place! *Bigsmile*

Characterisation: You've got two very different characters, one more relatable than the other. I bet you can guess which. *Bigsmile* Their personalities come through clearly. Great job here! *Thumbsup*

Setting: I'd love some more information on setting. The way Tammy just wants to find a husband, makes me think it's more old-fashioned, but that's just about the only clue I've got. Of course, it could be modern-day and Tammy is just desperate for a husband for whatever reason. It'd be great to have just a few more details so I can figure out the era for sure.

Spelling/Grammar: Just one typo spotted.
Skits - Skirts?

Closing Thoughts: Thanks for the read! This is the second review I owe you, so expect me back at least one more time! *Bigsmile*

Lorraine

Reviewed as part of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.
** Image ID #1934576 Unavailable **

Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were going to do anyway! Robert Downey Jr.


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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4195065