Hello!



It's Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece since you won my package at PandaPaws Licensed VetTech recent auction. Let's discuss this poem over a soothing "cup of tea". Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day.

Introduction - An organ could be an instrument that you play, or an organ in your body. It was very important that you use the picture and or summary to clearly show which you intended. I love the picture that you chose, and if there was any doubt, then the picture made it easy to know you were talking about the body, and specifically the heart. It's just a personal preference of mine, but when anyone is looking at your introduction, they already know it's a poem because you put it in that category. I like to use the summary to draw my reader in and give them some intrigue. Just by your introduction I can see it's a poem about the heart. But is it about the actual muscle or is it about your soul? Instead of saying "A Blitz poem about... " Maybe you could use a line from the poem or something similar. For example: "Love of nature.. nature of humans" or "What does the heart hold?"

Tone & Mood/Emotional Impact - I really love how you go through what the heart is and does both as a muscle and as a soul. I love the full circle this poem makes from having a broken heart, to war, on to the family and love, and back to hate and slaughter. Even though there are an abundance of emotions here, this is type poem where it is expected. It's truly a well written poem, and I have no suggestions for changing any of the lines.

Rhyme, Form & Flow - You made a note at the bottom of the poem that you broke the rules just a little bit. I'm not sure which rules you broke. The poem is fifty lines long, and it finishes the way it's supposed to. The only minor infraction is that you used a word more than once as a repeat word, but I wouldn't even draw attention to that. It's okay to break the rules sometimes when it's for artistic purposes. I think adding that note takes away from the beauty of your poem because people are looking for the mistake instead of just taking in the words. I love the Blitz form, but it can be hard and tedious. I think your poem flows very nice, and you stick with the theme very well. And it's hard to do that sometimes. Blitz poems are fun to ready, but they are meant to be read fast. If you want to slow readers down due to the subject matter, then one way to do that is to change the line spacing. However, that's purely an artistic decision, and it's only a suggestion.

Favorite Lines/Stanzas - I had to pick two portions that I particularly enjoyed.

Love of all
Love of nature
Nature of humans
Nature of passion
Passion to live
Passion for fun

Time for family
Family that's adored
Family that's treasured
Treasured by me
Treasured by the soul


Until next time... Live, Laugh, and Write...

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .