Greetings Christine Cassello my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I came across this poem in the poetry listings. I love poetry and it allows us to convey so many emotions whether funny, sad or basking in the heavens. I love the idea of a bus ride, so I had to read.



I want to take the bus! wouldn't it be nice to have a day to yourself and hop the bus to go just anywhere to be on your own. I don't take the bus often, but when I do I tend to gaze out the window and go somewhere off in my head. sometimes inspirations to write.



I feel the "tone" of excitement as the narrator wanted me to feel. Implied very well, due to the chosen words and meter with rhyme.

A great "style" as you took me to a happy place. Very cute and light. A great read to take a break from darker emotions. Nothing deep but with a nice rhyme scheme and a bit of "song" it brought a smile to my face.



Not a lot of suggestions here. The only one I can think of is to maybe change your punctuation a little. If you did this could easily become an enjambment. Here is an example as to what i would do.

Bus driver, bus driver, take me away.
I need to find some place to play.
Somewhere in which I can rejuvenate,
And once more begin to create.

My suggestion

Bus driver, bus driver-take me away,
I need to find some place to play;
somewhere in which I can rejuvenate
and once more begin to create!

This give it more emotion. Allowing the reader to read it as you want them too. With Excitement.
I hope you take my suggestions as only that as I am still learning myself. That is the great thing about poetry! We can change it and change making it more unique each time.

I hope you are enjoying the week's festivities and hope to see you around the site! As I know I do!

~LL~