Hallo and good morning! I am Grateful Jess and I'll be reviewing The Maid on the Hill. Please remember these are only my thoughts and opinions; feel free to use whichever you find the most helpful.

Overall Thoughts:
This isn't bad for your first poem. It does need some work, but I like your concept. First, I would suggest breaking this poem into stanzas. Stanzas make it easier to read if it's a longer poem. With some more word play, I believe this will be a longer poem.

You do have good details, but you tell us rather than show us. This can be boring for a reader. Give us good imagery so we can imagine what is happening, rather than being told what is happening. That imagination is what makes a story or poem interesting and fuller. I would also try sticking to a form - whether it's free verse or fixed form; right now I'm not sure what to make of rhythm and flow. The poem doesn't really flow smoothly.

Final Thoughts:
This is a great start for someone who is new to writing poetry. With some revisions, this poem can be awesome! Just remember to keep at it and it'll come as second nature. Keep creating and write on! ~Jessica

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .