Hello Jay L and good morning. I'm Grateful Jess and I'll be reviewing Division of Rhythm. Please remember these are only my opinions; feel free to take which you think are most helpful.

First Impressions:
This is a decent start to a poem. I think with more work, it could be a really strong poem. Right now you tell the readers how to feel or how to think of things, instead of showing us how we should feel with what is being laid out. When an author tells us rather than shows us, it's rather boring and pushy. The word choice isn't really that strong, either.

Overall Thoughts:
I hope I don't sound mean spirited or too critical because I don't want to come off that way. As Division Of Rhythm stands now, it's one big block of text. It does nothing for my eyes. There is also no rhythm to it. You do have what appears to be near-rhymes, but the flow really doesn't work.

I think the concept you want to convey is good and this is a good start for a poem to blossom.I'd suggest finding a form - whether free verse or a fixed form, playing around with imagery and word choice, and breaking down the poem into stanzas. When a poem is broken into stanzas, it's easier for the readers' eyes.

I applaud you for putting your thoughts down on paper and I hope this is a work in progress. I can't wait to see this poem once it goes through a revision.

Rating:
***

Final Thoughts:
The more you write, the more you will become a natural. Keep creating and write on! ~Jessica

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .