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![]() | Our Evil ![]() Kind of like a poem on addiction and what it is like to go through some of the stresses. ![]() |
Hi leo krueger ![]() I just finished reading your story which I found when I selected Read & Review, "Our Evil" ![]() ![]() This seems like a personal poetic prose piece, similar to spoken word, on addiction. ![]() As a person who fights with their own addiction issues, not drugs, but smoking and gambling, I really like this line: Apologies are no longer accepted in the home grown treachery that started. I have frequently reminded myself that going off the wagon is cheating at Solitaire. ![]() There are some fragmented sentences in this piece and some extra commas, however because this feels like it is spoken word, it feels more like phrasing to me instead of issues. ![]() In the last sentence of this piece, I suggest changing the tense of start. I believe that this will make that last sentence more powerful. ![]() I like this, it is almost like a prayer. It has growth and you feel the journey. Good Job. Thank you for sharing your work! Write On!! ![]() ![]()
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