Lucy's Rainbow [E] The day of my daughter Lucy's funeral. She was 30 years old. |
This "Invalid Item" review is for Brenpoet Hi It is my pleasure to read your poem and give you a review. Please remember, I'm a writer just like you and these are only my impressions. My ultimate goal is to be helpful and supportive. Thanks for sharing your work. Title/Subtitle: "Lucy's Rainbow" is a lovely title for your daughter's poem. The rainbow was a symbol that all is well, Lucy is in her new home. Message/Theme: The author's message was simply I love you, and you left us too soon. You followed Lucy's wishes by burying her in the plot she picked, and remembering her smile and her spirit in life. Style: The style is an Emotional, Personal, Tribute to a daughter, friend, relative to all that came to pay their last respect. Form/Flow: The form - five stanza's with four lines of nine or ten syllables while the flow was smooth with remembrance of a wonderful daughter. Tone: Sad and admiring, affectionate and tender with a respectful tribute to one so loved. Mood: Contemplative and loving, grateful for the time the author had with Lucy. Imagery/Pace: The imagery is that of a mother doing all the things her daughter asks for, wanting to make everything special. The rainbow was a beautiful sign of love. Suggestions & Typos: I didn't find any errors, only that one line didn't read quite right to me - "Your family were all stood by so sad" could read - Your family were all standing by sad. Overall Thoughts: Losing your daughter so young is so sad. I had a friend who lost her daughter so young, she had Niemann–Pick disease. She was a young, twenty-five years old. FAVORITE LINE: As if to thank us, there appeared above God's covenant with man in hues of love, A glorious rainbow spread across the sky The day we gathered near to say "Goodbye". JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION: These lines are so perfect and beautiful together. To have that rainbow reach across the sky was a perfect symbol of God's love. It had to be traumatic but wonderful at the same time. I think I would have cried a river to have seen that after losing someone so special. This poem is a great tribute to your daughter. The picture with the rainbow is a nice touch for this poem. It shows a beautiful woman with a great smile. Write On! Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading, Jeannie☃️ My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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