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Review #4151354
Viewing a review of:
 Summer Tunes Open in new Window. [E]
One evening, an office worker lets her playlist take control of her summer
by AiTrinh Author Icon
Review of Summer Tunes  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi,
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Overall Impression
Once I adjusted to the telling of the story, over the showing, I let the plot play out. It was an interesting experience, with a slight twist in the conclusion.

Setting/Plot/Characters
The reader is told what the setting is. It's explained what the character is doing, and where she is going. Throughout, the story is delivered in exposition. This can be distancing for a reader, but it's a quick way to get information out.

A few thoughts
I liked the premise of this story, but a few glitches were distracting. Many sentences had different tenses, present and past.

There was some contradiction that just needs a bit more to clear it up. She takes her earbuds out to listen. Wasn't she already listening to music?

It's written that her train wasn't due for another twelve minutes, but that meant she missed it. If this was written as "The next train wasn't due --" that would make more sense to me.

With a bit of work, this story would shine. If you have any questions about my review, please don't hesitate to email me.

As a Registered Author, according to the rules of the activity linked below, you are a minor hex, and this review will lift the spell you cast. *Laugh*

This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


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