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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4151338
Review #4151338
Viewing a review of:
 Vietnam Soldier Open in new Window. [E]
The story centers on a soldier who was the sole survivor from his platoon during an ambush
by Urban Villains Author Icon
Review of Vietnam Soldier  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi,
HAPPY 7th! WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
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Overall Impression
A well-written, clever story that took me by surprise, and made me laugh.

Setting/Plot/Characters
Your readers were totally immersed in the setting from the first scene, and it was not a pleasant one. The situation seemed hopeless.

But the character soldiers on, and through your description and word choices, I was more invested in the outcome. You were able to create a visual scene that was realistic for a war-time story. I've seen enough movies set in Vietnam to know a rustling in the grass is never anything good.

I liked how the action was slightly delayed. A strategic pause, as one soldier evaluated the other.


A few thoughts
Because there were two soldiers, the last paragraph was a bit confusing. If you gave your main character a name, it would make more sense as to who was doing what. And, it would eliminate the repetition of the Vietnam soldier.

Also, in this phrase and one was holding a pistol.
I think the word [but] makes more sense than [and] because the soldier sees what he's seen before. He must have been one exhausted man to turn his back on a man with a gun.

Great twist on the conclusion, and a welcomed relief.

As a Registered Author, according to the rules of the activity linked below, you are a minor hex, and this review will lift the spell you cast. *Laugh*
Don't be frightened by the darkness.

This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


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