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Review #4151338
Viewing a review of:
 Vietnam Soldier Open in new Window. [E]
The story centers on a soldier who was the sole survivor from his platoon during an ambush
by Urban Villains Author Icon
Review of Vietnam Soldier  Open in new Window.
Review by Nixie 🦊 Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi,
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Overall Impression
A well-written, clever story that took me by surprise, and made me laugh.

Setting/Plot/Characters
Your readers were totally immersed in the setting from the first scene, and it was not a pleasant one. The situation seemed hopeless.

But the character soldiers on, and through your description and word choices, I was more invested in the outcome. You were able to create a visual scene that was realistic for a war-time story. I've seen enough movies set in Vietnam to know a rustling in the grass is never anything good.

I liked how the action was slightly delayed. A strategic pause, as one soldier evaluated the other.


A few thoughts
Because there were two soldiers, the last paragraph was a bit confusing. If you gave your main character a name, it would make more sense as to who was doing what. And, it would eliminate the repetition of the Vietnam soldier.

Also, in this phrase and one was holding a pistol.
I think the word [but] makes more sense than [and] because the soldier sees what he's seen before. He must have been one exhausted man to turn his back on a man with a gun.

Great twist on the conclusion, and a welcomed relief.


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Don't be frightened by the darkness.

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