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 Review #4151247 |
 |  | The Unofficial Divorce  [E] A couple wanting to divorce during a time it was unacceptable.  |
| (3.5)  WDC 15th Birthday Reviews Greetings ashley my name is ~Lifelessons~ and I found this story in the "Read a Newbie" List. I was intrigued by the title because I have always been interestedin past life. The way things worked then is very much different to our way of living today.  First Impression This story held a great conflict and I was taken by surprised by the resolve in the end. Great idea! I wonder if any had actually done this. I do know that marriages then were often lived in silence. Acceptance of unhappiness was very common. Thank goodness that changed in today's day. We have choices!! A good thing!!  Structure  Even in the shortest of stories we should pay attention to detail. I found your story was lacking a few things. I believe with details of action, character names, and surroundings would have pulled me into the story more. Sometimes we write just to get the idea out there. This has the potential of a greater story yet. Instead telling, show the reader the situation. I wanted to feel the grief. Spacing is very important as well. The reader needs to read with a nice flow without stammering through the piece. I would suggest some dialogue in this story to give us a clear idea of what happened to their marriage. These are a few suggestions that i hope will help you. I would love to read this again if you choose to revise it. The concept is wonderful, let's make it great!! I hope you enjoy the many activities here on the site this week!! So much to do! Have Fun fun fun ! Keep Writing.  ~LL~ 
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