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 Review #4072913 |
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| (4.0)    Official Judges' Review Hi dblameck (David)  -I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Paradise Cove Writing Challenge-On Hold" , and have enclosed the following review on behalf of "The Talent Pond" for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only my own opinions.CONCEPT/PREMISE You did a good job incorporating the prompt into the story. I thought it was a creative story with a satisfying setup and payoff. Nice job! STORYLINE For the most part, the story worked, except for the points where the narrator "couldn't recall" how she got into a compromising position. With only about 1350 words to this story, there's plenty of room left with the word limit to actually put that information into the story without cutting corners. If there were a shorter word limit I think it would be an effective device, but with room to spare it feels a bit like taking an unnecessary shortcut. CHARACTERIZATION The characters were compelling and fit the story well. No issues here.  DIALOGUE There wasn't much dialogue in the story other than to bookend the main erotic element, but what was in the story worked well and kept the narrative moving along.  STRUCTURE No issues here, either. The story was well-structured and paced effectively. TECHNICAL There were a few points where the tense slipped between present and past, and a few places where clauses didn't have commas where they needed them... but as a whole a good proofread and polish will probably catch most of those. OVERALL Sorry for the delay in getting this review to you, but thanks - as always - for taking the time to enter the contest even when there aren't a lot of other entries. I've enclosed some GPs as a consolation prize for the last round. I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing! Jeff Please check out these items: "The Screenwriting Group" "Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" "The Dark Society"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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