Power Shop Review from the Board for Princess Megan Rose to fulfill the Hydro Package given by Lina Black-So Far Behind!!!

What hooked me into reading and reviewing this item?

A team player, it is my desire to help the WDC Power Reviewers fulfill orders on the Power Shop Board.

This was an item included within the Hydro package.

Descriptions:

There are consistent descriptions of the groom, which give the reader a good idea of what Lord MacEwen looks like.

Characters:

Kinnon MacEwen is a very brutish man. He is good looking, but his dominance comes off as violent and controlling. This really makes Lord MacEwen three dimensional. He is easy to picture.

Rosalie Campbell is a very sassy, and strong woman. She is redheaded and has Scottish in her bloodline. Her mother is passed on, her father and sister remain at home. She is forced into marriage with a man she does not know. As I read, "Rosalie slapped Kinnon cursing at him." It seemed a bit out of character for someone hoping to attain a title.

Rosalie loves her horse Dusty, and the most common denominator between the two is the love of horses, and Scotland. "The groomsmen will groom him and feed him. We love our horses."

Overall:

This was written for a contest and it is understood that we often "just write," get it turned in on time, and then must wait to edit.

Conflicting items: Emerald Brooch vs. Diamond Brooch.

I am no grammarian, and usually am able to pass by small errors, because it has not interfered with the ability to flow through the story.

There are conflicts of tense, one example is: ""You promised not to touch me."

"So I shall..." Suggestions: "And I shan't" " "And I will not" because he is saying I will touch you.

"The hill sides hillsides seemed to reach clear up to heaven. Rosalie loves loved Scotland, and her life with her father and her sister Mary.

I found a few run-on sentences, example: "She chased after him on her horse and her horse was faster then the man who had stolen from her but with the horse being loaded down, Dusty was slow today."

This is only intended as an honest review, and this is your work. As you have previously published two novels, you know more about what your story needs than I. Anything I have pointed out to be looked at, are errors I have made, and will continue to make as long as I write. May you have continued success as a published author, and Write On!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .