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Hi Calvin,
I found this through the CLASH tournament. I read through the character reference and got a rough idea of Alexea and her motivations, skills and weaknesses. Then, with the story part, you did a good job of staying true to the original prompt and it seemed a seamless continuation of that, but you also stayed true to the character you set up. It was an easy, enjoyable read.

She did not know this, but Likolo had emotionally adopted Alexea as a replacement daughter. He wanted to help avenge her sister’s death, even if that meant betraying his own nation.
My suggestion would be that if Alexea doesn't know it, then reveal it to the reader in another way, through action or words, rather than telling the reader. This helps us to avoid 'head hopping' but instead staying in Alexea's point of view.

She quickly started up the engine, and turned to the logging console. A quick punch destroyed any records she was there.
It's a very minor detail, but you used quickly and quick within two sentences there.

It seems unlikely that the guards at the planet's space port wouldn't have some sort of weapon they might fire at her. I was left wondering why they didn't fire or use more force to stop her leaving so abruptly.

Alexea muttered and obscenity.
That should be 'an obscenity'.

Slowly, as to not allow the making of noise, Alexea crept her bike up the line.
That sentence feels a little awkward. Perhaps 'Slowly, so she didn't make any noise, Alexea crept her bike up the line.'

When they got on the inside of the station, they both removed their helmets.
I think 'on the inside' should be 'to the inside'.

“No,” both said at the same time. “She snuck in with me at the same time!”
Here you have 'at the same time' used twice in close proximity.

“Now, now, miss,” Domumen seemed genuinely amused. “We won’t disqualify her just yet. We like people who break the rules.”
I loved this, and it seemed perfectly in character. Well done.

Gula shoved Alexea aside and dashed down one path. Alexea darted through the second path. She flipped over the first pit and paused for a second to allow a swinging blade to pass. She vaulted over more pits and ducked under spinning blades. She wished she could see how Gula was doing, but there was a wall with knives sticking out of it between them.
This was high action and drama, yet it seemed to be over so quickly. I don't have the skills at writing this kind of fast paced action to be able to make many suggestions for improvement, but I did feel like you could have spent a bit more time on this, and made us feel like we were running and dodging with Alexea. Was her heart racing? Let us see through her eyes as things come swinging at her. Let us feel like we're there.

Overall, I think you did an excellent job of setting up Alexea's character. By the time I got to the end of the story, I felt able to say whether things were in character for her or out of character - that shows that you've done your job well. Great work!

Elle

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