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![]() | Being a whole person ![]() What does it mean to be a whole person? ![]() |
Hello there Thomas Seeker, ![]() I dropped by your portfolio and was looking around to see what new items you might have and found this. I decided to read and review it. It's odd that after not being here for a while that I came across this because even today this idea applies to a personal interaction I had earlier. I only review what causes me to think and feel something. I send this review with the idea of helping and offering encouragement, rather than criticism. Please consider my suggestions and take only what works for you and leave the rest behind. That being said, here is my impression. First of all, you might want to rate this so it's made public to more members. Your title is rated but the content isn't. Title: Appropriate. Premise: The different parts of ourselves that make us a whole person. Format: Pretty much good. Nice spacing between paragraphs, plus there is some indented lists. The title was offset more than I thought it might be, but that could be personal preference on the authors part. Flow: Nice explanation of what this will be about, plus you go into more detail to explain your idea. ![]() ![]() The first sentence bothered me for some reason. I think it's because it reads "all their characteristics", but you named two. A few words saying you would focus on those two might make it better, even though you have the two words there. Here: When you hide away, repress, or bury these impulses see you begin to create your shadow, or your inner monster. (the word 'see' isn't reading right here but it could be that the author is more present like he's saying "see what I mean". In that case, I would add a few commas. one before and one after "see". Here: We were all force (I think you meant forced) Here: What I intent (I think you meant intend) There is a place in this where you used the word 'lot', but I think you meant to write> a lot. (for me it should be one word but the right way is used in two words). I think it's at the end of one of the paragraphs, yet I can't find it now. There was a need for some commas on introductory clauses, etc. Also some places had commas where it didn't need it. * If ignored, they will come out. * Love was the experienced (experience?) Also I would break that sentence up. Love was the experience. You grew and I just noticed the word experience appeared twice in two sentences in the same paragraph. You might want to reword it and maybe make it more concise and then you won't have to use it but once. Think of another word that might be used instead (if there is one). ![]() ![]() People tend to label things in life. It's hard to see our loved ones making choices or doing things which ultimately affect others in ways that might not serve them well. What do we do? We can't live other people's lives for them, but we can be responsible for our own choices and lives and also allow ourselves to experience ourselves fully. That means that if we realize that something we said, did, or felt (or something we didn't say, do, or feel?) didn't work out so well for us or someone else, we can always make new choices. I hope that makes sense to someone other than just me, but it is what it is. :) On a personal note, I had a choice today and decided to voice those thoughts and now both myself and the other person interacted in a more productive way because of it. Please keep writing. The topics are interesting and informative. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" ![]() Please click on the link to be taken to our group homepage, if you care to leave thanks, comments, or requests for reviews. ![]() ![]()
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