The final paragraph and an early paragraph are the same, on purpose I know. Problem for me is trying to figure out where one scene ends and another begins, when the words are her thoughts and which are conversation or just information; You need a segway from one scene to another, perhaps use italics when she's thinking as opposed to speaking or the description of the scene. Without these ways of showing different scenes, etc, your reader gets confused. starts as a child, gets married sometime; honey talk and ice cream conversation... no separation clear.

What a wonderful story: a woman on her way to the hospital to see her injured or otherwise hospitalized, husband, has memories of a young friend, reading a story that apparently had something to do with honey, enjoying honey with a little best friend; listening to the doctor tell her what's wrong with her husband; and all of this has a cloud of intrgue and questioning about the strangness of the day that eventually isn't strange fate.

I really iked the description of the day the little girls were flying kites; the description of th day, the sky, the clouds, and all was/is wonderful and gives your reader a nicie feeling of that perfect day.







I suggest you remove 'only' and in the next paragraph remove 'very' because your adverb "slightly" is adequate to explain 'how far'; 'only and very' also adverbs add nothing to the meaning of 'slightly': "moved only slightly off the path"

the words "that was set up" is not needed because "right next door" explains where the carnival was: "carnival that was set up right next door"

better to use names; apostrophe in wrong place; it's one student so apostrophe before the 's'; the apostrophe is after the s' when the word is plural:"The students’ eyes grew when she"

Word missing after 'it: "friendship for it....."

Sentence far too long: "The students’ eyes grew w"

You've called her both Paterson and Peterson; as by the doctor

I hope you find something helpful in this review. ANN

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .