Hi KerrieAnnS . I found this item in "I Write in December-January-February" . This is an entry for "30 Day Image Prompt Contest - CLOSED" . Before I begin my review please note that these are my views as a reader and are not meant to offend in any manner.


The poem talks about the helplessness of a fallen angel. I also think, the way the angels are portrayed in stories, is really very sorry state. Talk about feudalism at its worst. The poem expresses the pain of your character. Though it is not as good as other poems of yours I have read, but I believe this is written in just a day. Good job on that count.


Mostly the words you have chosen flows with the emotion. The rhymes do not jar my reading anywhere. I just have problem in two lines ~

1) a long, long time ago ~ This sentence has time repeated too close to the previous line and hence the effect of the line is diluted. Since there is no rhyme involved here, something like "many, many years ago" might be more suitable than the current sentence.

2) but us angels do not. ~ the usage of "us" is not correct here. It should "we angels" as this is the subject. Usage of objective pronoun is not needed here.


No suggestions regarding punctuation.


I ruled the goddamn show. ~ I think blasphemy by an angel displays the sorrow and helplessness better than any other sentence in the poem.


I have not seen the image on which the poem is based. My review is based on the image created in my mind by your poem. Creating such a vision is not an easy job. All the best for the contest.

Keep Writing!

** Image ID #1908733 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .