\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3825257
Review #3825257
Viewing a review of:
Disappearing Act Open in new Window. [E]
War games for parents.
by Jeff Author Icon
Review of Disappearing Act  Open in new Window.
Review by Noyoki Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Jeff Author Icon ,

My Thoughts:

*Giggles* I have a 2 year old son, and I can see this in my future. Right now he's still doing his own thing, but he's nearing the age where such games will be played and this gave a funny, yet slightly terrifying, view of what I have to look forward to.

My Favorite Part:

The End. "Vengeance will be mine!!!" That was a perfect end to the story, humor and revenge all bound up into one neat little package. I've seen a number of divorces where parents use their children to get back at each other, but usually it is in a very cruel and vindictive way. I like how you were able to bring that into this story, but in a kinder more light hearted way. Great job!

My Suggestions:

The line 'Thomas was something of a disappearing act' sounds a little off to me. Maybe change it to Thomas was something of a magician, he could vanish at will, might work better.

Because of my own son, this story hit on my personal background and I enjoyed it all the more for that. Thank you for sharing your wonderful work with all of us!

Thank you,

~Noyoki

Write On!!


Image Protector
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann Author Icon


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/15/2013 @ 12:57pm EST
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3825257