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 Review #3761688 |
| (4.0)| Hi, Dr. ET   I found out your name on the "Invalid Item" and that it's your birthday in September so I looked up one of your stories  and I offer the following comments:  Overall Impression: I really like this story; it's about the way people behave during Christmas as opposed to the rest if the year. It draws a strong ana I quite enjoyed reading this story. It's about the change in tone of television programmes as Christmas approaches, and it makes a comparison with the similar behaviour of people during these 'special times'. Television schedules start to fill up with Christmas specials as the season approaches, sending out messages of 'goodwill to all men' then, as soon as Christmas passes, the programmes immediately return to their normal content. This is compared with the way people themselves change their behaviour at Christmas then revert to type afterwards. The analogy extends outward to include failed new year resolutions and other seasonal times, too. It takes the form of a homily, exhorting people to try to behave well towards one another at all times and not just during 'special' times. Writing Style: The story is Written from a third person POV; there is no dialogue, this is an entirely narrative piece. The perspective used to draw the lesson from, that of television programmes, is an interesting one. I thought the story flowed quite well and was evenly paced. I have to admit there were some terms which I did not understand at all, these were 'pamasko' and 'Canossians'. A short explanation, from within the story, might have been useful. Writing Craft:  . . .since my childhood: The use of a colon serves no purpose here, it ought to be a full stop. You may be interested to know that there is an excellent page here on WDC, which gives links to websites concerned with grammar and punctuation, where you can find more information on the use of the colon. "Invalid Item" make resolutions; tell ourselves we’ll change for the better…blah blah… The semi-colon here ought to be a comma since the part of the sentence following it does not stand as an independent thought, or clause. I thought that the variations in size of paragraph worked well in this piece, helping to maintain the interest of the reader. I Liked: The Second and third paragraphs which discuss Christmas and New Year television programmes. I thought these were well observed.the last paragraph, a fine exhortation.My opinions may not coincide with yours and that is fine, please feel free to ignore any suggestions you don't want. We are all of us on a learning curve and only you can decide what is best for your story. Regards sandybays  Write On!!  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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