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 Review #3625223 |
 |  | ETERNALLY YOURS  [E] A letter to the man of my dreams  |
| (4.5)  This review is given on behalf of "Invalid Item" . Hi ~WhoMe???~ ,I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED! and I'm reviewing your poem, "ETERNALLY YOURS" , as part of your shower. WHY I CHOSE TO REVIEW THIS ITEM:You are one of the showerees listed in the "Invalid Item" - CONGRATULATIONS!  While I was roaming through your portfolio, I saw this piece. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, your title and brief description caught my attention. How could I resist reading, rating and reviewing this item?  OVERALL SENSE:Love, devotion, destiny - this poem has it all!  With your upcoming nuptials, I feel these words would be the perfect wedding vows. The poem as a whole encompasses all that love is and what it means to devote yourself to someone completely and unconditionally. CONVENTIONS:When I think of romantic poetry, I think of rhythmic, almost lyrical, pieces that flow seamlessly and effortlessly. Traditional (rhyming) poetry has that and so much more. The harmonious aspect of this poetic form enhance the tender feelings and romanticism it has to offer.  Your rhythm, meter and rhyme are outstanding. You have certainly mastered the art of Traditional poetry. Excellent job!  SPELLING/GRAMMAR:I have just a few things that I would like to point out here.  "it effects all we do."  This is actually a very common mistake. The difference between "affect" and "effect" is indeed tricky. One thing to note is that "affect" is always a verb. The word "effect" can be either a noun or a verb. As a noun, it means the result of something (i.e., cause and effect). As a verb, it means the same thing as the verb "effectuate", which means to bring about, to accomplish. The main differences of effect and affect are:To affect something is to change or influence it, to effect something is a rather formal way of saying `to make it happen'. Confusingly, because either may produce an 'effect' or result this is a common error. I believe in your line, you meant to say, "it affects all we do", where "affects" would mean 'to influence' or 'to inspire'. "bringing me my soul-mate" and "re-uniting us in Love." There is nothing wrong here, but I did want to note that, although hyphens can be used to join a prefix to another word, doing so is less common than it used to be. One-word forms are becoming more the rule of thumb. Your use of a hyphen is not wrong, it's merely personal preference. I think that removing the hyphen would be more aesthetically-pleasing when reading through the piece, as the hyphen can give the reader pause when there should not be one.I mean no offense by anything I have noted above. As a writer and reviewer yourself, you know that these are given with the best intentions. FAVORITE LINES:"Time was the element, to package it all, as my heart met with yours, and we answered the call." I adore the imagery throughout your lovely poem, but this stanza is my favorite. This is the pivotal turning point in your piece. The reader knows that you have found the one that you are meant to be with forever. The very definition of a soulmate is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. You have portrayed this well throughout the entire poem.  SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:Other than what I have noted above, there is nothing else I could possibly suggest. It's a beautiful, heartfelt piece. CONCLUSION:I hope you have shared this poem with your fiancé because it is an extraordinary piece. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness and the best of luck with your wedding!  Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!! NOTE: Please remember that the above comments and suggestions are only one person's opinion. Take what you can use but never be shy about discarding what you cannot. Most important of all, keep writing, improving, and contributing to our wonderful community! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please visit my guestbook. Stop in, say hi, let me know if you liked a particular review and/or ask me to review another item or re-review something you've updated.
 I wrote my letter from home to support our troops, "Invalid Item" . Have you written your "Letter from Home" ? Follow the random at "Invalid Item" , which won 1st Place in Round 1 of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" ! Find out what makes me tick in "Invalid Item" . Check out some of my gems in "Invalid Item" !
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You responded to this review 11/28/2011 @ 3:28pm EST