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Review #3609892
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Review by Casey Author IconMail Icon
Rated: | (3.5)
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Below is a form/description called the "Dorsimbra". I think your little poem about your baby bird's advrntures might work well using the Dorsimbra. And you might have fun doing it. When I studied your poem, you had many varying lengths: your lines 1,3, 15, 16, 17 and 25
were iambic pentameter, but the rest varied and seemed without any plan or length. This, of course, is only a suggestion. Your poem might become more alive and be clearer to your reader if you used a specific form to follow.

"The Dorsimbra, a poetry form created by Eve Braden, Frieda Dorris and Robert Simonton, is a set form of three stanzas of four lines each. Since the Dorsimbra requires three different sorts of form writing, enjambment can help to achieve fluidity between stanzas, while internal rhymes and near-rhymes can help tie the stanzas together.

Stanza One: Four lines of Shakespearean sonnet (iambic pentameter rhymed abab).
Stanza Two: Four lines of short and snappy free verse.
Stanza Three: Four lines of iambic pentameter blank verse, where the last line repeats the first line of Stanza One. "
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