Hello ftrinta,

This is a Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

Thoughts and Feelings

Wow!!! I wasn't sure where you was going with this story. I assumed you were going to write something about how a child's imagination ended up fiction into the world or something. This turned out different that I expected. Its not a bad thing.

Plot/Setting

The plot was surprising. I was surprised in the beginning and surprised in the end. Two childhood friends who used to play games in which they imagined themselves in space end up getting separated for many years. They keep in touch a little throughout the time. But then the one who moved away gets a letter asking her to come to see her old friend. Finds out he is in a hospital, not sure for insane people or for people on drugs. The end is confusing. I am not sure if they really got beamed up or if if just got the peace he was looking for.

Characters

The characters were okay. Not exactly memorable. I did not care too much for what was happening to either of them.

Awesome Moments

When you wrote that they brought her over because she was a translator and he was speaking Klingon. That was pretty awesome details.

The ending was good too. Not exactly sure what happened. I am leaning towards he found peace and thats where the whole he got beamed up to some place no human as gone. I cant particular believe he really was beamed up BECAUSE he was speaking Klingon. All evidence points to his imagination and that he was escaping into it.

Things to Improve

I would imply in the beginning who the speaker is. I had no idea it was a girl and was waiting awhile it seemed to find that information. I only found out after the letter in which her name was revealed. I would reveal some of your narrators details early on. That way we can get an image of your character. I guess that was another reason why I did not care all that much about your character because I could not picture them.

Overall

This was an interesting story and I enjoyed the read.

Thank you for the read.


This review is just my view of your work. I am not a professional and only bring to the table what your work meant to me. I do not mean to offend. You may disregard what ever you disapprove because this work is your voice.

jocelyva
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