I, Prof Moriarty , do hereby swear, that the following review, provided in good faith and out of genuine concern, is entirely my personal opinion. It is my humble endeavor to be rational, encouraging, pertinent and impartial. But, if I fail in my attempt and cause you any distress, I would beg to be pardoned. Being a fellow writer myself, I appreciate the time and effort that would have gone into creating this item.

The title :

Good title.

Brief description:

A young woman walks the dark alleys of London paranoid about a secret enemy who finally catches up with her. What happens next?

The characters :

There are too many characters for such a short work which confused me. We have the Solomon, Simmons, Jonathan and of course the heroine and her lover. I am somewhat disappointed with the character development.

Kudos and Applause:

I liked your idea. It's innovative and exciting.'

An interesting reference to the special gifts of the unborn child.

I have a few Humble Suggestions, but please remember that you are the best judge of your writing :

As I have mentioned above, you should not try to dwell upon so many characters in such a short piece. I'm quite confused about their identities except for Solomon and his henchman.

You've to delineate clearly the fantasy elements in your story to make it sound real. Yes, even fantasy can read believable.

Technical, Grammar and Spelling

The following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your story. The sentences in red show how your story currently reads. The ones adjacent in black are what you may consider.

My heart pounding with my fear, finding it’s own rhythm. My heart began to pound with fear and it continued to beat fast for the rest of the night. (Couple of mistakes here. First it should be íts'and not ít's., if you stick to your version. Second is 'finding its own rhythm' is a positive dialogue which is a misfit in the context of this story. Third, no need to say 'my` fear.

I sheltered in a doorway, slowing my breath, steadying my shaking legs. I sheltered in a doorway, slowed my breath and steadied my shaking legs.

I began to become aware of inevitable danger. I smelled inevitable danger. ( Since she is a lady with special powers, the word `smelt' would enhance the appeal of this sentence.)

Overall Impression :

An exciting story with an original idea.

Rating parameters

Final Rating: 4 / 5

Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to read your submission.

Wish you all the best.

Regards
Moriarty